Anyone looking to subvert an overreaching authority could learn a thing or two from a Karen. Here’s some stories (all fictional) for how you can use your inner Karen to fight back.
1. Weaponizing Rules of Order
Karen doesn’t attend city council meetings. She commandeers them.
When the board tries to pass a resolution banning unsanctioned community events, she rises with her laminated copy of The Council Rules of Order (16th edition, tabbed).
“Point of order: You cannot vote without a quorum. You don’t have a quorum, because Councilman Mendez is logged in via a personal Zoom account, which violates Open Meeting protocols per Section 14B. Also, the motion has not been properly seconded, and you skipped the period for public rebuttal, which I intend to deliver in full.”
Thirty-two minutes later, the council hasn’t passed a thing, the vice chair has rage-quit, and someone has Googled “what is a dilatory motion.”
2. Filing Everything, Everywhere, All at Once
Karen discovers the city’s citizen complaint portal allows unlimited filings and requires response within 14 days per the Administrative Transparency Ordinance (enacted in 1987 and forgotten ever since).
She proceeds to file:
- 56 open records requests about the superintendent’s gas mileage
- 32 building code violations based on minor handrail height discrepancies
- 18 ethics complaints about the tone of the mayor’s newsletter
- 1 environmental hazard report claiming the city-issued trash bins “emit fascist energy”
The staff is required to respond to each. She follows up on all of them.
By the end of the month, the city has to hire a “Community Liaison Officer” just to deal with her filings, and she immediately requests their job description.
3. Exploiting Obsolete or Overlooked Ordinances
Karen, a dedicated reader of obscure municipal code, finds a forgotten 1974 law stating that any committee proposing policy changes must hold a “listening circle” with a quorum of local business owners at a licensed ice cream parlor.
Why would that possibly be a law, you ask? Well, back in 1974, the local committee chairman owned an ice cream parlor. They didn’t want competition, so they passed “licensing” laws for ice cream parlors. They also wanted to guarantee business, so they required certain council events happen at their ice cream parlor. Both the guy and his ice cream sucked, so as soon as he retired to Boca Raton, they stopped enforcing the rules, but they never bothered to repeal them. And everyone forgot…except Karen.
She calls the local paper, assembles a coalition of small business owners, and demands compliance.
“Either we meet at Banana Bob’s Creamery to discuss this surveillance ordinance, or I’m filing a noncompliance grievance with the city clerk and starting a recall petition on procedural grounds. Your move.”
4. Weaponized Potlucks and PTA Bylaws
The authoritarian school board tries to mandate uniforms with embedded RFID tags. Karen doesn’t protest—she motions.
“I move to table the RFID item until it has been reviewed by the Parent-Teacher Standing Subcommittee on Apparel, pursuant to Article IV, Section 9 of the 2004 PTA charter. We also require a vote by no fewer than 51% of members in attendance at a formally scheduled ‘Treats and Transparency’ potluck.”
They don’t take her seriously—until she produces the charter, gathers 51% of the PTA (via her Facebook group “Cookies Against Control”), and votes the policy down over Bundt cake and macaroni salad.
5. The Karen Cascade™
Karen launches a coordinated phone and email campaign, complete with a Google Doc template, encouraging citizens to file individual complaints on procedural grounds.
Each complaint is slightly different:
- “The language in Ordinance 208b contradicts Section 12C of the Zoning Guide.”
- “Your livestream violated ADA accessibility standards.”
- “The newsletter used Comic Sans. This is not a joke.”
It becomes impossible for the board to ignore. They spend three weeks trying to resolve the complaints before quietly shelving the proposal and issuing a “community engagement pause.”
Leave a Reply